Having an understanding around what indicators of interest are can greatly improve your ability to develop and manage new relationships. So let’s take a look at just what exactly an indicator of interest is.

Every Event is a Data Point
When you are interacting with someone at a personal level, whether in person, over the phone, or online, there will be numbers events that occur. An example of one of these events are someone walking over the room to talk with you, someone calling you, or someone touching your arm as you talk to them.

When one of these events occurs, it is a data point. Meaning it is a point worth noting as it could be telling part of a story. When someone touches your arm this is a data point and it could be telling you that the other person is interested making these type of events indicators of interest.

Examples of Indicators of Interest
There are many different ways or methods of communicating with someone and we can breakdown those categories and look at what an indicator of interest for each looks like. Here are some categories with a examples of indicators for each.

In-Person Conversation

  • Eye contact
  • Smiling
  • Walking over to talk with you
  • Welcoming your conversation
  • Asking you questions
  • Touching

Text Messages

  • Sending you a text message
  • Responding quickly to your messages
  • Including emoticons, exclamation points, LOL’s in their responses
  • Including questions in their responses
  • Sending long messages compared to a few words

Phone Conversation

  • They call you
  • They answer your calls
  • They sound happy to hear from you
  • They ask questions to keep the conversation going
  • You make them laugh

Social Media

  • They send you a friend request
  • They accept your friend request
  • They like some of your status updates and pictures
  • They comment on some of your status updates and pictures
  • They send you a private message
  • They include emoticons in their comments and messages

Indicators of Disinterest
Just as some of these events can mean that someone is interested, there are also the exact opposite signs that tell you when someone is possibly uninterested. These indicators are a lack of response to calls or messages, a lack of questions in a conversation, lack of smiling, etc.

Looking for a Pattern
There is one thing to notice in the term indicators of interest. It says “indicator” and not “confirmation of interest”. What we are trying to point out with that is that an indicator of interest means that there could be interest but it is not confirming interest.

What you want to do is look for a pattern of either indicators of interest or indicators of disinterest when you are interacting with someone. It is not necessarily one data point that will tell you what is going on, but more so the pattern you are able to observe and track.